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Vulnerability: A Good Thing or a Bad Thing?

Uncategorized Jul 30, 2020

Being spiritually abused makes us feel vulnerable.  We don’t like feeling vulnerable.  When we’re vulnerable our defenses are down.  We want to armor up against the attacks.  The attacks were unwarranted, unprovoked, unfair.  What kind of armor can we wear in self-defense?  Those were my initial thoughts after abuse – thoughts and feelings I had to work my way through. 

Then one day, I read the research that Dr. Brene Brown has conducted.  I have now read every book she has written.  I’m such a total believer in the truth of the data that her research reveals that I have become a Certified Daring WayTM Facilitator as a clergy person (CDWF-Clergy).

In her work, she refers to life experiences in which we feel vulnerable.  She calls those experiences an “arena.”  Spiritual abuse is an arena.  In the arena of spiritual abuse, what are we to do?  Are we to armor up like the ancient Roman Gladiator?  Be ready to fight to the death?  Is that what would help? 

Absolutely not! 

(Forget those thoughts of taking legal action.)

Dr. Brown has found in her research that the people who survive the best do not put on that kind of armor.  I know, I know, it’s counterintuitive.  But it’s true.  The people who survive the best do not “armor up.”  So what are we supposed to do?  Let the abuser walk all over us?  No way!

Instead, learn a different way of being.

The tag line for the Daring WayTM is “Show Up.  Be Seen.  Live Brave.”  To live this way can look daunting and scary if you’ve never tried it.  It takes courage to be your authentic self, which in and of itself is “an arena.”  An arena that requires both vulnerability and courage.


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