“Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” The disciples had just asked Jesus to teach them to pray. They must have been thunderstruck when he said those words. Jesus told them to ask the Father to forgive them in the same way that they forgive others who trespass against us.
You might very well say, “But wait, you mean my being forgiven hinges upon whether I have forgiven people who have hurt me?”
Forgiving those who have hurt us is one of the most difficult acts we humans need to learn. Being able to forgive begins to happen as a by-product of an ongoing healing process. That process includes being able to let go of feelings – whatever they are – feelings of hurt, resentment and hatred, to bitterness, anger, and the desire for revenge, to shame and the determination not to be vulnerable anymore.
Forgiveness is difficult. To be able to forgive does involve a stage of healing,...
Wow! Last week brought the coldest temperatures I have ever felt. I live in the Texas Hill Country, where single digit temps with a chill factor of below 0 are uncommon. And days on end of snow and ice, rolling power blackouts, and angst about whether my plumbing pipes would burst. I'm extremely cold natured, and I can tell you that I had on so many layers of clothes that I looked like I was ready for Siberia.
I know that those of you who live in some of our northern states and are used to these kinds of temperatures for several months, not just a few days, probably think I'm a wimp. But we're not prepared for that kind of weather.
I hope and pray that all is well with all those who also experienced such a wintry and dangerous storm.
I am very blessed. No burst water pipes. All the snow and ice are gone. Temp rose to 79 degrees today! My bones and muscles are happy.
But that's not the only reason I'm blessed. I pray a...
For the last couple of weeks, I've blogged about the 3rd Guidepost of Wholehearted Living by Dr. Brené Brown. It reads, "Cultivating a Resilient Spirit: Letting Go of Numbing and Powerlessness."
Living wholeheartedly according to the research that Brené conducted appears to be counter-intuitive. For example the phrase "Lean into the discomfort." Isn't that the opposite of what we want to do? For a headache, we take a pain killer. For a broken heart, we try to find ways to not fully enter our brokenness. Who wants to feel pain? And yet...
"Lean into the discomfort." Counter-intuitive as it seems, leaning into the hurt by letting go, is where we find our healing -- and over the passage of many times of doing that -- is where we find our "wholeheartedness."
There is a particular way to pray that helps me to both "lean into..." and "let go of..." It's called "The Welcoming Prayer." Here's how to pray...
Today I continue to write about Brené Brown’s 3rd Guidepost, which is “Cultivating a Resilient Spirit: Letting Go of Numbing and Powerlessness." Last week I wrote about Resilience, so this week I’m writing about Numbing and Powerlessness. The book I'm referencing is listed at the bottom of this blog.1
When adversity hits, it’s hard for most anyone to be resilient in the middle of the pain, vulnerability, or struggle. What happens for many of us is that we want to find something to take the edge off of the pain and discomfort. Many of us run quickly to whatever would make it all more tolerable. Some take refuge in addictive behaviors, which only make it worse.
The problem is that when we take the edge off of the pain, vulnerability, anxiety, or struggle, we rob ourselves of the power to do anything that would really help. What we don’t realize is that when we numb a negative emotion, we also numb the positive...
This week I’m continuing to blog on some of the ideas in Brené Brown’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection. Today I’m thinking about the 3rd Guidepost for Wholehearted Living, which is so incredibly important that I plan to blog on it for at least a couple of weeks.
So what is the 3rd Guidepost? “Cultivating a Resilient Spirit: Letting Go of Numbing and Powerlessness.” That’s quite a mouthful. Let’s start thinking about the first half of this guidepost: Cultivating a Resilient Spirit. How would you go about cultivating a resilient spirit for yourself? Cultivate is an active verb. In gardening it means to do all the necessary tasks over time to produce your chosen crop as a bountiful harvest, whether that’s beautiful flowers or a delicious food crop. That's the verb, the activities involved in creating and maintaining a resilient spirit.
How would you define the word...
For several weeks I will be blogging about Dr. Brene Brown’s 10 Guideposts for Wholehearted Living. You can read more about them in her book The Gifts of Imperfection.
We can choose to live life differently and in a healthier manner by practicing these guideposts. I invite you to “try them on,” one at a time, as I blog.
Spiritual abuse does not have to have permanent control over our feelings or our behavior. We can choose to work toward establishing healthier habits than staying in self-blaming and judging perfectionism that would have us believe that we are not worthy of love and belonging.
The second guidepost is “Cultivating Self-Compassion: Letting Go of Perfectionism.” Last week I asked the question: “What would we have to give up in order to let go of feelings of unworthiness?” Today I ask the question, “What would we have to take on in order to...
Today I’m writing about the second of ten Guideposts for Wholehearted Living by Dr. Brene Brown. It reads this way: “Cultivating Self-Compassion: Letting Go of Perfectionism.”
One of my favorite questions at this point in my life is asking what would I have to give up in order to do a particular something. And what would I have to take on in order to accomplish it?
To live into this second guidepost, we need to find a way to let go of our perfectionism. In order to let go of it, we have to understand what it is, or else we won’t have any idea of how to let it go. So, first step: What is it? What is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism involves trying to earn approval and acceptance, and being afraid of what other people will think of us if we fail. It’s not the same thing as trying your best to do your best. According to Dr. Brown, perfectionism is self-destructive, unattainable, addictive, and shame...
In Brene Brown’s book The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, she sums up her research on shame and vulnerability with her “10 Guideposts for Wholehearted Living.”
Each of the 10 contains a powerful gut-punch so full of REAL wisdom for anyone who wants to intentionally grow into who they REALLY are. I recently decided to take on each one, one at a time, making my current one a daily mantra for a whole month, before moving on to the next one. I can tell you they hold much food for thought – and new insights. I believe that the insights that come from working on these Guideposts can engender healing from life’s wounds.
The first of the Guideposts reads this way: “Cultivating Authenticity: Letting Go of What People Think.” Dr. Brown says that authenticity is a practice. We can consciously choose to be authentic in our relationships...
How do you celebrate the arrival of a New Year? Is it with resolutions? I hope you’re better than I am at keeping New Year Resolutions. I might come up with some, and I might even stay with them for a week or two. But then, the busy-ness of life kicks in, and first thing you know, I’ve forgotten them.
How are you at self-discipline? It takes self-discipline to stay with whatever you’ve “resolved” to do differently. If we were to actually follow through for a meaningful amount of time, do you think the resolution would stand a chance of becoming a new habit?
I’ve read any number of times that it takes at least 30 days to establish a new habit. Be honest. Have you ever kept your New Year’s Resolution for a whole month? I don’t think I ever have.
So let’s look at a different line of thinking. Dr. Brene Brown, who originated The Daring WayTM and has authored several...
Our beloved Christmas story from the Gospel of Luke that we love listening to at Christmas begins with these words:
“In those days a decree went out from Emperor Augustus that all the world should be registered. This was the first registration and was taken while Quirinius was governor of Syria. All went to their own towns to be registered.”
Today as I’m reading this familiar passage, my eyes keep coming back to the words “In those days…” What was happening back then just as God was preparing the Messiah to be born? The Romans had conquered the Holy Land and had subjugated the Jewish people to Roman Rule. We know that Augustus was the Roman Emperor and Quirinius was governor of Syria. We know that the government had just issued an edict for all of the population to be registered. This Census would have been quite an undertaking. I mean, they had no computers, no electronics, no internet. Just paper and...